Tuesday, October 11, 2011


It's not a special day.

It's not even an especially bad day.

On the drive home from Walmart (milk, cheese, lettuce...) my thoughts turn to Sam.

I hear his cheeky laughter. I see him - heat-less, life-less, motion-less.

A cold hand slips around my heart and squeezes and I hurt, I hurt, I hurt, I hurt, I hurt...

We're stopped at the road works - windows down, warm breeze, sun on our faces.

Laura leans over and wipes a couple tears off my cheek.

Inhale... Exhale...

Life continues, without him.

It doesn't stop hurting, we just learn better pain management.

Death sucks.


annie said...

Hey Ames, love you, miss you, sorry that the pain is still there and will be until your together again.

Jill said...

it's something I cant' possibly understand. but i can cry for you.. and pray. if there's one thing i've learned in the last few years it is that a mother's love never ends. you might fail on patience or laughter or any number of things, but love is that ever connected bond.

Deana-Andrew's mom said...


Totally understand. It sucks butt doesn't it?

The Animated Woman. said...

No words...